When I was younger, I only realised that I was happy when the happiness was gone. That has changed.
These days, I feel so happy my heart aches when I think of it. Realising that hurts because I know it won’t last forever, it can’t. And time passes so quickly, I’m so afraid of waking up one day, realising that my youth has gone. I wish I could stop time. I love this phase of my life.
My future path is unknown. I love photography and definitely want to work as a photographer. But honestly, I have no idea how I’m going to approach it. Do I really need a degree? What about the options? Where should I apply? In Lausanne, where the diploma projects look amazing? In Germany, because nine months in that country weren’t enough?
Two years ago, I felt overwhelmed by the options I had. Today, I don’t. I’m grateful and incredibly curious to see what life has to offer. Next year, I could be anywhere, doing anything. It’s amazing.
I discovered the song linked above Das ist dein Leben (“This is your life”) last weekend in the long-distance coach in Germany, on my way back to Switzerland. I only heard a couple of lines of the song but I immediately looked for it once I reached home because it didn’t let me go. Since then, I’ve been listening to it over and over again.
I love how I can relate to it. Life is crazy, sometimes it doesn’t make sense. It’s happiness and confusion. It’s flying and having to stand up and start walking again after you fall. It’s about being inebriated, laughing, loving, getting on the wrong track. It’s about feeling like a stranger in spite of bright times. Life is full of contradictions.
Life is unpredictable, and I love it.