Taste of Summer

2016-06-30

“I’ll miss you when you’re gone during summer”, my friend tells me. We’re sitting on a bench overlooking a sunlit park full of life. Adults have a picnic, teenagers play games and drink, kids are excited. It’s mid-June and it feels like the first day of summer.

Everyone is enjoying themselves, inhaling the sunshine and laughter. I get to feel the first taste of summer, but don’t get to enjoy it with my friends. No BBQs, no swimming in the river, no late night tipsy talks. We used to bond this way, two to three years ago. Now I spend my summers in Uruguay where the cold is unbearable at times.

My heart swells when I hear his words. They mean so much to me. I used to have many friendships in which we never said what we meant for each other. Of course, you don’t have to. But I think the world needs more love, and the best place to start is to show your appreciation to your loved ones before it’s too late.

I remember how we ended up in the same class after my exchange year four years ago. For almost a year, he was a riddle to me and we didn’t really get along. Some party nights and candid early morning talks changed that. Then, two years ago, there was another phase in which I felt like strangling him. But we talked it out and now – incredibly, when I think of our beginnings – he’s become one of my closest friends and is one of the few high school friends who makes an effort to keep our friendship alive – something that’s becoming rarer and rarer in our busy lives.

I survived a phase with very, very little friends. I learnt that I can depend on myself in the worst case. But life wasn’t enjoyable. I was a plant close to drying up, surviving with the minimum. Now I’m surrounded by supportive, loving people and I’m blooming, my roots growing stronger each day, more resistant to the storms that will come eventually. Words like these are raindrops my roots greedily absorb.

∙•∙

I’m watching the match Turkey vs. Spain with a group of guy friends, drinking beer. Not used to alcohol anymore, my general happiness in life quickly transforms into a bubbly happiness that threatens to burst my heart. I feel like giving one of my friends a tight hug, tell him how much he means to me.. but I pull myself together, knowing that in this state, I’ll quickly be labelled as too tipsy to be taken seriously. And maybe I am – but my feelings are genuine, I just get out of my rather stoic everyday me.

We sit together for hours, this group of close guy friends who study science and me. At first sight, I don’t fit at all, but surprisingly, I don’t feel excluded. I’m surprised I feel so comfortable. Even though I don’t know all of them equally well, I can be myself, knowing they’re my friends’ best friends and trustworthy. I’m so grateful, I’ve worn a mask for too long.

∙•∙

Time is running. I’m leaving Europe the day after tomorrow and I’m going to miss my people here.

The weather has finally got better so I had photo shoots every single day last week. It’s exhausting, but it fills me with joy. I’m happy when I get home after a sunrise shoot at 5.30am, with feet and legs wet from the fresh morning dew that clung to the grass. I’m happy when my limbs feel heavy and my head throbs after a shoot at the end of a long day; I’m exhausted, but can’t help but choose a first photo to edit until two thirty in the morning. Passion is madness.

I have so much new work to share with you. And, to be honest, I was overwhelmed by your amazing feedback to my last post. I have yet to answer some comments. It intimidated me, I guess that’s one of the reasons I didn’t post anything for almost three weeks. But yeah, I’m back and am happy that more new people found my blog <3

I hope you’re doing well. Take care <3
xox,
Monika


Model: beautiful Vanessa from Misleading maps

39 Comments
    1. Happy that you’re back :) If you will ever feel lonely again in Uruguay, you know that here you can find an ethereal group of friends ;)

      1. Thank you so much, Nina! It’s good to know that – but luckily my experience in Uruguay has changed since my exchange year :) have a lovely weekend!

    1. “I think the world needs more love, and the best place to start is to show your appreciation to your loved ones before it’s too late.” Spot on! Keep bubbling! :)

    1. Our lives are a constant anticipation for new routes… hoping to have positive outcomes!

    1. When you feel such love and support all around you… that really is the best feeling <3
      It sucks that you have to leave but I hope you have a good summer in Uruguay! (or winter, as the case may be)

      1. Yes, I’m so grateful! Thank you for your comment, I hope you’re doing well <3 it's great to be around my Uruguayan people again and I try to catch up all the time I couldn't spend with them during the rest of the year. :)

          1. Thank you, I’ll blog more frequently from now on! :)

            I’m not a friend of tags and awards, but thank you for thinking about me :) take care and have a wonderful week! <3

      1. Hi Mavinia, thank you so much for your lovely words!! :)) I like your blog as well! I hope you’re doing well, take care <3

    1. Monika, I agree with you that the world needs more love. Of course, love is the substance from which everything in the universe is made, so the energy of love is everywhere all the time. But our conscious decision to spread a little love around is maybe the best conscious decision we can make. And yes, I also agree with you that gratitude towards the wonderful people in our life is a very good place to start. I’m grateful for your photography. You’re doing wonderful work.

      1. Hi Melanie, thank you for your thoughtful comment and the lovely compliment :) Yeah, I think it never hurts to hear that you’re appreciated even though one might think it’s not necessary to say it in a friendship. I’m sure your friends are very lucky to have you! Have a wonderful week and take care :)

    1. That part in the post where you wrote about people who have drifted in and out of our lives and those who have stayed – friends – really touched my heart! I know the feeling because there are so many people I used to be friends with and little by little, my group of friends has shrunk slightly but the people left, they are amazing! And I agree, we do need to tell people how we feel more often because we should take the chances to express our feelings – it’s important!

      Also, it’s amazing watching the people around us and seeing how we are all so different yet we are comfortable together.

      Welcome back xxx

      1. Hi Fatima, great to hear from you again (and welcome back to you too)! <3 Thank you for your comment :) I'm glad to hear that you have an amazing group of friends in your life, that's something very precious. I hope you let them know how much they mean to you :)

        Oh yes! And I think it's amazing to see that despite all superficial differences, there is still something that holds us together.

        Have a lovely week <3

      1. Thank you, Samantha! :) Maybe you can get in touch with them and meet up again? x

    1. Absolutely love your photography. You manage to capture the personal even though I don’t know any of these individuals, but upon seeing your pics, I find myself wanting to know more, to know the story behind each shot. Thank you so much for sharing. You are very gifted and talented.

      1. Thank you so much!! <3 loved your comment, it made me really happy :) keep spreading positivity and have a lovely weekend! x

        1. I wish you a lovely weekend as well. And I am a positive person, maybe that’s a failing but I prefer to look on life that way, much easier to overcome obstacles on our path. Take care.

          1. No, positivity is great! I think it’s much healthier than not giving anything a chance :) take care!

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