Taking the path less traveled

2015-05-28

signpost Roes Germany

After realization hit me while writing this post I stayed awake until 3am in the morning because my thoughts felt like celebrating a crazy party in my mind. I couldn’t shake it off anymore, this uncomfortable feeling of secretly ignoring something my subconsciousness wanted to tell me because listening to it would cause uneasiness.

I don’t wanna study yet.

After finally acknowledging it, I had the much dreaded talk with my dad. It was tearful, dramatic – and positive, at the end. The alternative to studying this year is working for a couple of months in Switzerland and traveling to Uruguay and Singapore (and from there to other Asian countries) afterwards. Then I’d continue with my education next fall.

First I wanted to think of the pros and cons before deciding anything. But the days passed by and I noticed that I was already starting to assume that I won’t study this year. Now it’s actually already decided, I just want to have some talks before unsubscribing from the university.

At the beginning I thought I’d just study next year. Because that was the easy way out – I secretly knew this was the main reason for me doing it. Everyone studied after school. Nothing unusual, no risks. I wouldn’t have to try for a university place. Every other option included applying for something and risk a rejection. I didn’t want to put myself out there.

On the other hand, I knew I wasn’t being true to myself. I’m preaching that we should get out of our comfort zone and take risks and wouldn’t be consistent of myself if I ignored my inner voice, so the idea of studying really bugged me once I realized I didn’t really want to do it.

Finally, after my last photo excursion and hours of editing photos, I’ve come to realize that a career in photography could be something for me. It wasn’t the first time I had this thought, but I discarded it at first because I knew I couldn’t enter an art academy (too tough and I’m just a beginner) and I’ve never considered starting an apprenticeship because people in Switzerland normally don’t do this after their Matura (A levels).

However taking the photos last weekend made me cautiously think of it again and when my boyfriend suggested this week, independently of my idea, that photography could be something for me because I put so much time and money into it, I suddenly knew it was an idea I had to hold on to. I did some research about apprenticeships and further education and was intrigued, however the thought of doing an apprenticeship freaked me out. All my friends are going to university and I’ll do something totally different?

When I noticed that it was just my fear that was preventing me from following this idea before, I knew I didn’t have to look further. I found the right thing for me, just out of my comfort zone. After this discovery, I did everything to learn more about this path and noticed that there are people who don’t study after their Matura. Talking with them and learning about their experiences is incredibly reassuring.

So here I am, taking the path less traveled. It’s bloody creepy, but the one meant for me.

And damn, I’m motivated! I’m looking forward to having enough time to dedicate hours and days to photography. I wrote to a Uruguayan photographer I know a bit and asked for an internship. I’ve even started writing application drafts and am thinking of how I should portray myself. I’m hooked.

The idea is new, but it feels right. I’m happy I pulled the emergency brake in time.

19 Comments
    1. I have just read this – so ignore my previous question about studying haha! Best of luck with it all :)

      1. jaja dale y gracias! :) mi papá es alemán (en caso de que no te habías dado cuenta) :D

    1. Good luck with all your plans Monika! Our younger daughter headed off to London last year as she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do after finishing uni. She is so busy with work – she freelances in PR for the music industry plus does hospitality. She’s still not sure long term what she wants do but she’s found the experience of living away from home and travelling invaluable! Very best wishes! :)

      1. Thank you very much! I love hearing from you :) wow interesting and courageous what your daughter is doing. What did she study? I guess she doesn’t have a blog by chance haha I’d love to read about her experiences because I think people like her are really inspiring :)

        1. Thanks Monika! My daughter studied Communications and History – she is doing some PR/marketing work alongside the hospitality so it fits in well. No she doesn’t have a blog at the moment though I’ve asked her if she’d like to do some guest posts on mine. She’s got some trips coming up – next month to the Toulouse area and then Portugal and she says she’d be happy to do some posts on those places. I can ask her to write some up on London too when she gets a bit of spare time!! :)

          1. Interesting combination! I’m looking forward to reading her posts. I’ve never been to Portugal and haven’t read any posts about this country! And I’d love to read about her lifestyle as an encouragement and inspiration if that fits in somehow!
            It’s awesome you raised a daughter that courageous, curious and independent :)

            Have a nice weekend :)

            1. Thanks Monika that’s very kind of you 😃 I’d love to go sprout half one day too – Our daughter has been once before and she loved it – I thought her contribution would add an extra dimension to the blog and she’s happy to contribute! She’s not travelling for a few weeks yer though

              1. Oops that reply sent before I’d finished and the predictive text on my iPad has done some weird editing! There should be a “smile” icon after “Thanks Monika that’s very kind of you :) ! Plus I meant to say I’d love to go to Portugal one day!! Plus the end should have read “she’s not travelling for a few weeks yet though! I love my iPad but it does do some strange predictive texts at times!

              1. Well I definitely look forwards to reading about your experience in Portugal if you decide to go there one day!
                Yes, I think having someone else contribute makes a blog even more interesting :)

    1. I love this line:

      …”this uncomfortable feeling of secretly ignoring something my subconsciousness wanted to tell me because listening to it would cause uneasiness.”

      I experience this feeling all the time….today, in fact. I worry about wasting my summer away and not getting anything accomplished. I worry about it being “the summer I sat at home” and I get so anxious as the days tick by. I’ve been looking forward to having nothing to do, yet I find that my mind often takes over and doesn’t let me enjoy the freedom to do nothing.

      Sometimes, you have to listen to that subconsciousness. Sometimes, the unease you’re feeling is the gateway to something truer, deeper.

      1. Thank you for your comment, Kate! I felt the same as you the last couple of days. I hope you can find the right balance between relaxing and accomplishing something so you can look at this summer in a couple of months and feel happy and fulfilled! Have a great day :)

    1. Fitting into the norm is waaaay overrated! Go where your heart leads. BTW, love your blog’s title and focus.

      1. True, but it’s easier said than done! But I’m still following my heart :) thank you so much!

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