thoughts

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monika-jia-rui-316

no sweets without calories

A part of me wants to throw herself into new adventures that promise both happiness and heartbreak while the other part, the one responsible for my heart’s wellbeing, is so damn afraid of the changes that would inevitably come with it. Everything seemed so clear one year ago; I thought I had my life figured out while everyone else freaked out about the future. Now I see what a fool I was. Certainties only exist in our mind. Nothing is clear,...

monika-jia-rui-196

Acceptance

“Something’s wrong with you,” she says, a questioning look in her eyes. Really. I laugh, trying to shake it off. “It’s probably the alcohol.” We’ve just drunk a glass of wine and a mojito. Home-made. It’s the first time we drink together. But I’m not convincing enough. “No, it’s something else.” She doesn’t know me that well, how can she be so sure? I thought I’ve found some kind of balance in the last couple of hours. But probably it was just another attempt to escape....

Big In Japan

Big In Japan. Infinite loop. Laura’s beautiful voice mingles with Nick’s velvety one. Nick, about whom J told me all those years ago. 2013. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I still have his cover of Radioactive on my iPod. A memento of a very intense time in Singapore. And surprisingly, I’ll get to know him soon – through photography. It doesn’t hurt to ask, Monika. I used to admire him from afar. Thought he was too talented, too handsome,...

Christmas Decision

I’m not a city girl. Still in the train to Zurich, the view out of the window is covered with huge ads. Consumer society. Saturday morning, the train station is flooded with people – young soldiers finally getting home, families with babbling toddlers on the road, tourists seeking one of the plans or their smartphone for help. I love people, but I don’t like our influence on nature. Train to Lucerne. Everything is white on the other side of the window. The...

Fake It Till You Make It

If I took a second to look back on the past few months and weeks, I’d be surprise to see who I’ve become. I’ve started to talk to random strangers in the street, asking for their picture. I’ve taken photos of people I hadn’t talked to for years. I had my first shoot with someone I didn’t know before. Hopefully, I’ll start shooting ‘real’ strangers soon. I don’t only have colourful hair now, no, yesterday I walked around in public with the top...