Switzerland

Tag

Two Extremes

My life swings between two extremes. Most of the time I’m sociable, talkative, barely spend any time on my own. Then there’s a sudden slump, everything goes dark and I forget how I’m supposed to work. I used to think that the girl with the bright smile was me while the other girl was dysfunctional and flawed. Someone who has to be fixed. I never considered the option that the latter could be taking care of me, putting on the emergency brake in order...

Breathing

Some photos I snapped during my hike near Meiringen (where Sherlock Holmes faked his death) on Saturday afternoon. No writing, no music, no distractions. I try to think as little as possible and focus on my environment. Let my mind and senses wander. Dried leaves rustle, stirred up by mice. Omnipresent chirping of birds. Faraway car noise. Sunshine, a pleasant breeze. Two deers half hidden in the covert. I take deep breaths. I’ve been waiting for this. Medicine for my tattered soul. I’m lucky...

A Precious Smile

We’re sitting in a train headed towards the mountains, playing Exploding Kittens. The compartment is packed. Luckily we’ve been early and caught a little space with a table for the four of us – two friends, my love and me. By the time precipices rise high outside the train window and the snow-covered mountain peaks seem within reach, we’re lost in the game. It’s funny. I remember being on trips many years ago, hearing other people having fun and laughing, envying them. There was no fun where...

signpost Roes Germany

Taking the path less traveled

After realization hit me while writing this post I stayed awake until 3am in the morning because my thoughts felt like celebrating a crazy party in my mind. I couldn’t shake it off anymore, this uncomfortable feeling of secretly ignoring something my subconsciousness wanted to tell me because listening to it would cause uneasiness. I don’t wanna study yet. After finally acknowledging it, I had the much dreaded talk with my dad. It was tearful, dramatic – and positive, at the end. The alternative to studying this...

Inner conflict of a third culture kid

Once again I was back home in Switzerland. I never know how I feel about it. I resent it, I love it. I feel home, I feel alienated. I want to be seen, I don’t want to see acquaintances. It’s comfort, I enjoy it – and I can’t stand it. It doesn’t make sense. When I cross the Swiss-German border and people suddenly speak standard German instead of Swiss German or vice versa, I feel confused, not sure how to interpret my...