portraits

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Two Extremes

My life swings between two extremes. Most of the time I’m sociable, talkative, barely spend any time on my own. Then there’s a sudden slump, everything goes dark and I forget how I’m supposed to work. I used to think that the girl with the bright smile was me while the other girl was dysfunctional and flawed. Someone who has to be fixed. I never considered the option that the latter could be taking care of me, putting on the emergency brake in order...

Saved

This week has been really rough. I helplessly felt darkness consuming me from within; insecurities, sorrow and hopelessness persistently gnawed at me. All I wanted to do was to sleep till this mess was over, avoiding stressful social interactions. Luckily I didn’t chicken out of meeting my old friend Mia. After talking for a while to catch up on our lives, we moved on to taking some random shots, experimenting with material that was lying around. I wanted to keep it...

A Bittersweet Time In Bangkok

[Click here for part 1; September 2015] The next day our heads are throbbing and my stomach is unwell. I’m sure it’s the street food. Ironically, Kevin’s friend (who threw up next to me the night before) seems to be much better than us and I curse my indisposition. We have to force ourselves to get up because time is so scarce and valuable. Less than 48h to make up for the last two years of distance and the years to...

Doors Wide Open

I still have four weeks until I have to hand in my portfolio for my photography studies application, but I’m already freaking out. My head feels clouded, anxiety runs through my body and mind and I have to pull myself together so I don’t resort to food in order to feel in control of something, anything. At the end, I give in. Loads of salted crackers fill my belly. While I used to hate myself because of that, I let it...

Work Hard

I love my work. I love being out with old friends or new people, the comforting weight of the camera in my right hand. I love creating something beautiful, make people feel good about themselves. This passion has made me work quite hard from the moment I started taking photography seriously. It means the world to me. Like many others, I like to look at beautiful photographs that inspire me. But too often, that sneaky voice that compares myself to others kicks in. Look at...