past

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shoes (day viii)

June. I’m in Germany for a couple of days, visiting my grandparents. My grandpa drives me to the industrial area near his town that used to be my home, too. It’s time for my bi-annual cosmetics shopping. The summer heat inundates us when we leave the air-conditioned drugstore. In my little backpack are 40€ worth of products, paid with the money my grandma gave me to cover a part of my train fare. We’ve barely left the entrance when my...

max-autumn-forest

things we carry (day i)

I found this writing challenge at Lu’s blog and decided to give it a shot. I want to get into the habit of writing more often and overthink it less. Maybe I’ll find my voice again this way. Day 1, things we carry We carry our past like a weight. Scars on our skin, scars on our soul. Sometimes also wounds that have yet to heal. Memories weigh on our hearts, sometimes  leading to us walking around withdrawn from the world, incessantly...

dreamy self-portrait

Back On Track

Trying to keep it together and keep going can be quite exhausting. Not letting possible failure bring you down, convincing yourself that everything will be okay while the doubtful and pessimistic voice screams something else.. I know my rational part is right. But how do you convince emotions? After spending the last week encouraging myself, reading and doing some self-therapy by binge-watching all the Vampire Diaries episodes I’ve missed since last year (yes, I actually watch this teenie-drama-series. I firmly disagree with the...

Faded Magic

I see three ghosts from my past in a day, people I haven’t seen for ages. In a time long gone, I was in unhealthy relationships with two of them – for reasons I don’t understand anymore. The possibility of a confrontation makes me feel uneasy, but emotionally I’m unaffected. The unjustified accusations of being needy and emotionally dependent, the control imposed over me, the self-esteem I lost because I was too young to know how to defend my boundaries, the tears of...