love

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monika-jia-rui-329

Nomad Heart

Another summer replaced by winter. It’s exhausting. Three months at a place are too long to count as a short vacation but not long enough to form lasting friendships. No matter where I am, I always miss someone. My friends are never united. And I do try to form meaningful connections wherever I am, but sometimes I wonder what the point of it is. I’d like to stay for once, be somewhere and know that I don’t have to leave...

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naked body, naked soul

I look at the photo above and feel physical and emotional closeness. Intimacy. Finally being able to connect on that level fills my heart with so much joy. It’s kinda .. funny how quickly and radically I tend to shut myself off from people when the greatest desire within me, the thing that keeps me going, is to connect with others. But today I find myself where I’ve always wanted to be. For years I’ve longed for people I could share my deepest feelings...

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Mistakes

I have a weak moment. For a second, I allow myself to envision the forbidden scenario. That I’d stay here, come back in autumn and continue living in the place I love with the people I love. It’d be too easy, too lovely. No moving out, no goodbyes, no trying to find a new place to stay. I think of writing an email to the boss of the dorm and asking our neighbor who knows her for help. For a...

The Light

On some days, I’ve laughed merrily, the black phase just a faint memory in the back of my mind. I’ve even started to wonder if I hadn’t been too dramatic. On the first spring day this year, I have a wonderful photo shoot with a very talented girl. My heart pumps passion through my veins. We create photos I love. It doesn’t happen often enough, but whenever it does, it fills me with a deep sense of accomplishment, making all the struggle and failure worth it. ✕ ✕ ✕ But...

Gone

What words can describe the feeling that settles in when you realise that once again you’re separated, being the one left behind? A part of me is missing. I walk the streets alone and can’t look into these brown eyes full of love, feel his warmth by my side, my hand in his, our fingers entwined. I know I’ll be fine eventually, both of us always are. But right now I feel like something has been torn away from me. I miss him dearly....