doubts

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Always Searching

Here I thought I’ve finally settled down, found the me I want to be. I believed this journey of looking for myself has finally come to an end – after living abroad on my own, dying my hair a neon colour, finding my passion and changing my dress style a couple of times. But lately I’ve found myself uncomfortable in my own skin again. It’s not just my weight, or the overwhelming softness where once had been firm muscles. It’s also that the clothes...

monika-jia-rui-069

Life Without Him

Thursday evening, once again my flatmates and I cook dinner together. It’s kinda become my highlight of the week. Our new flatmate’s girlfriend is there, too; both are really nice, but seeing them together makes me feel the absence of my love. It’s a subliminal pain. I try to forget about it; there’s nothing I can do about him not being here, so what’s the point in whining? We have fajitas and I greedily get a second one, stuffed with delicious ingredients. My eyes are bigger...

Denisa-golden-hour

Popular?

Looking back on the last couple of months, my life has taken an unexpected turn. Not radically. The change has come gradually, with every week that passed and every photo shoot I had. I used to be an outsider. During secondary school, not a lot of people bothered to be friends with me. It changed during my first year in high school, but I was thrown back into the outsider-role during my exchange year in Uruguay. Try imagining being a 16 years...

girl in front of cave

Decisive Days

Alone. Radio on to chase away the silence that echoes in the empty house. Anxiety runs through my veins, I’m restless and want to do unhealthy things to calm myself down. Don’t. Tomorrow is the decisive day. I’ve been brushing it off, thought that portrait and fashion photography is what I want to focus on, but only now I realise how much I want to continue with my documentary photography and thus get into the course. Of course, in the worst case, there...