connection

Tag

anywhere in the world (day x)

Jamaica, Saudi Arabia, Zambia. I like to look at my stats and see where my readers – you – come from. Algeria, Iraq, Pakistan. There are so many places I’ve never been to and might never visit. Cook Islands, St. Vincent & Grenadines, Jersey. Islands I couldn’t find if you gave me a globe and asked me to point them out. Singapore, my birth place and one of my many homes. I feel strangely connected to the clicks from that place and wonder if...

nothing (day ix)

nothing, five years ago. You go out with people, spend hours together. You laugh, talk about things that don’t matter, get drunk and dance through the night. But this time together doesn’t mean anything. It’s all facades, hypocrisies and superficiality. A game that goes against my nature. It’s not about connecting, they don’t care about who I am or what I feel. What it takes to be included: look pretty, wear a smile on your lips, and– don’t be quiet....

A Lonely Heart

You have this constant need of feeling loved, says my sister. The second you don’t, you feel lonely. Even though you have so many friends. Her words taste bitter. But she’s right, I need a ridiculous amount of attention. This thirst for connection and intimacy stems from the need to give and receive plenty of love. Intense relationships are my thing. I ask for a lot, but I’m willing to give as much. Not everyone can handle this intensity, but I won’t find friends if...

monika-jia-rui-286

naked body, naked soul

I look at the photo above and feel physical and emotional closeness. Intimacy. Finally being able to connect on that level fills my heart with so much joy. It’s kinda .. funny how quickly and radically I tend to shut myself off from people when the greatest desire within me, the thing that keeps me going, is to connect with others. But today I find myself where I’ve always wanted to be. For years I’ve longed for people I could share my deepest feelings...

The Light

On some days, I’ve laughed merrily, the black phase just a faint memory in the back of my mind. I’ve even started to wonder if I hadn’t been too dramatic. On the first spring day this year, I have a wonderful photo shoot with a very talented girl. My heart pumps passion through my veins. We create photos I love. It doesn’t happen often enough, but whenever it does, it fills me with a deep sense of accomplishment, making all the struggle and failure worth it. ✕ ✕ ✕ But...