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monika-jia-rui-243

very loud (day vii)

angry voices saying things they don’t mean breaking hearts crying toddlers in the bus distress hate inner conflict Manila missing someone who doesn’t miss you New Years’s Eve planes before takeoff the music I listen to after a fight the silence of solitude the voice of self-doubt thunder … feel free to share other loud things that come into your mind x...

monika-jia-rui-339

aftermath (day vi)

A goodbye. And an almost. An almost that comes with implications that are too vast to grasp. My mind goes blank. Blood rushes into my head, my body goes cold. I’m glad I hardly blush. On the tip of my tongue– What? What did you think?! But I swallow the words, can imagine the reply, can’t bear to hear the truth, not right now. So I turn around, my legs mechanically leading me down the steps to the subjacent floor. One step...

this road (day v)

this road started on a Sunday evening in Singapore almost 22 years ago   yesterday it led me to this bleak playground somewhere in Uruguay   this road has been bumpy at times not always paved leading me through beautiful places as well as pitch-black tunnels   but maybe it’s wrong to think that i’m merely following an already existent road to an unknown destination   maybe i’m the builder constructing it on the go   directing its course on my...

Caro

mirror (day iv)

I wish someone would invent an alternative mirror that doesn’t reflect our outermost layer but rather who we are in the inside. We’re so fixed on how we look that what lies underneath our skin has become secondary. We’re taught that hardly anything matters as much as our appearance. So in our insecurity, we turn towards this polished metal and let it define who we are, how much we’re worth. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?...

faces in the street (day iii)

For someone who loves faces and capturing their individual beauty I’ve been very focused on staring at the pavement in front of my feet lately, avoiding any eye contact. When I’m out on my own, fear burdens my gaze, pulling it down. It sticks to the bumpy sidewalk in front of me. Step, step, road damage, step, dog pile, step. Don’t look at anyone, don’t attract any attention. Eye contact is beautiful, smiling at strangers too; it’s a pity we’ve become...