alcohol

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The Elephant

I can’t believe how close I came to losing real friends just because my mind convinced me that I was expendable. After a month of avoiding him, I finally talk to C. He deserves the truth. I’ve brushed him off so often, but he didn’t let it prevent him from reaching out again and yet again. Friends like him are gold. Giving him up would be pure stupidity. So we drink beer in a cozy bar and I order a pitcher to make...

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Acceptance

“Something’s wrong with you,” she says, a questioning look in her eyes. Really. I laugh, trying to shake it off. “It’s probably the alcohol.” We’ve just drunk a glass of wine and a mojito. Home-made. It’s the first time we drink together. But I’m not convincing enough. “No, it’s something else.” She doesn’t know me that well, how can she be so sure? I thought I’ve found some kind of balance in the last couple of hours. But probably it was just another attempt to escape....

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We Are Young

Friday night. During our Christmas party in uni I almost drink too much delicious mulled wine because it keeps my hands and heart warm while I’m standing outside, a non-smoker amongst smokers, just wearing my oversized sweater for men, finally not feeling alien anymore. I remember how isolated I felt during our welcome party three months ago, all those people smoking outside and I didn’t belong. But now I’m finally arriving. And I’m growing. A friend and I decided to ascend a floor...

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Scratches

When I feel like I’m exploding because of all the emotions within me and I just want to forget, I used to have three options: physical pain food alcohol But times have changed. I’ve become oh-so mature and choose the fourth option, photography. In the fading daylight I take my self-portrait in the forest. A nude, the first time I’m doing this without company. I’m horribly disorganized, my remote is at home so I have ten seconds to get from the camera to my spot, thorns...

Taste of Summer

“I’ll miss you when you’re gone during summer”, my friend tells me. We’re sitting on a bench overlooking a sunlit park full of life. Adults have a picnic, teenagers play games and drink, kids are excited. It’s mid-June and it feels like the first day of summer. Everyone is enjoying themselves, inhaling the sunshine and laughter. I get to feel the first taste of summer, but don’t get to enjoy it with my friends. No BBQs, no swimming in the river, no late night tipsy...