Inner conflict of a third culture kid

Once again I was back home in Switzerland. I never know how I feel about it. I resent it, I love it. I feel home, I feel alienated. I want to be seen, I don’t want to see acquaintances. It’s comfort, I enjoy it – and I can’t stand it. It doesn’t make sense. When I cross the Swiss-German border and people suddenly speak standard German instead of Swiss German or vice versa, I feel confused, not sure how to interpret my...

An image that haunts me

Standing in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, an image suddenly hits me. I don’t know why but it’s in front of the mirror, looking lost in thought at my reflection, when I get ideas. I am thinking of this photo that has been hunting me since I’ve seen it a couple of days ago and the memory of an old Chinese woman trying to sell tissue paper at the pavement next to the zebra crossing overrun by tourists and locals in Bugis,...

road to nowhere Roes

A wake-up call to myself

I am an idealist and a dreamer. Luckily, I’m also a doer. Wonderful things have happened since I’ve actively started to follow my dreams but it’s hard to always keep them in mind. I came across this post from The Heart’s Quest – a welcomed reminder to stick to who I really am and what I want. Do yourself a favor – read it and watch the TED Talk! I want to be me, “all of who I am”. But what is...

My first Goa party

So I went to my first Goa/Psytrance party. Almost sober. A friend asked me if I wanted to join and I said yes before really thinking it through because my first thought was yay! A new experience! When I thought about it again, I doubted my decision and almost wanted to cancel it. Psychedelic music and many people who belong to the same subculture I don’t belong to? Famous for consuming drugs? On the other hand, the party was for...

little me eating durian

Countries I have called home

Since this blog is also about my experiences as a cosmopolitan (you can judge whether or not I can call myself one after reading this post) I thought a short biography would give you an overview of what my origins are and based on what experiences I’m writing. I was born in Singapore almost twenty years ago as the daughter of a Singaporean and a German. I lived there until 2003 and went to a German School, but I also spoke...