Giving And Receiving Love

2015-11-21

Some unexpected love I received this week:

  • My dear friend Sophia tagged me in a picture with the text ‘The sign of a beautiful person is that they always see beauty in others‘, writing “that’s you“.
    It made me so happy to know that someone thinks of me like that.
  • Stefan, my male model from last Sunday, has totally surprised me with this Facebook post: “Are you interested in a photo shooting? Do you want some cool photos of yourself? Get in touch with Monika from Monika Jia Rui Photography. If you like the photos she takes, support her by liking her fanpage
    I was so overwhelmed about his cute gesture I couldn’t wait to share it with my friend who I was waiting for outside the public toilet. The moment the door opened, I turned around with a big grin, extending my smartphone – just to lower it awkwardly when I looked into a stranger’s face who gave me a weird look. Well, shit happens, I didn’t let it lessen my joy.
  • Then James‘ kind words: ‘(…) but don’t even, with the inspirational stuff because I’ve been reading your posts for months and months, and I don’t admire many things to the scale that I admire the honesty and real personality that shines through the posts that you write. so don’t ever stop writing, and really, I can’t wait to be able to have a chat in person.
    Reading this from someone I find very inspirational is incredibly encouraging. Thanks to his words, I’m writing this post right now. It’s hard to be honest and open but I want to try.

Gestures like these light up my heart. Giving and receiving love is the most wonderful thing I can think of. I used to feel awkward about my feelings, cautious about revealing them because I was afraid I could either repel someone by showing that I like and appreciate them or that I’d have to realise that it’s rather one-sided, a horrible feeling.

Since I often experienced that someone meant way more to me than I meant to them, I gradually became more cautious. Those were dark and lonely years. Once I wrote “I have so many people I could talk with about my problems but nobody would choose me to talk about theirs” and I felt unneeded, dependent.

I was in an unhealthy relationship two years ago that made me feel worthless and needy even though I was just having normal and healthy emotional needs. The good thing about it was that I started opening up to my friends, often asking them for advice. I must have been a bit annoying at times because it was the same problem again and again, but that phase made me realise that there were people who cared about me and who I could rely on – and who opened up as well after I made the start.

In spring 2014, around the time I got together with my love, things have finally changed. His love is pure and reassuring and suddenly I felt like I didn’t have to hold in all my feelings anymore. He gave me the confidence to love fearlessly. It’s okay to open up and risk getting hurt. I love this quote by Erin Hanson: ““What if I fall?” – Oh but my darling, what if you fly?

So here I am, one and a half years later. I love humans and I hardly want anything as much as showing them that they’re appreciated. Show me you have a kind heart and I’ll let you into mine. What can we gain from building walls around us? Why don’t we encourage each other instead?

Life is much more beautiful when we keep our hearts open. Yes, we make ourselves vulnerable this way, but imagine the strength we can draw from giving each other more love. I’m not just speaking of your friends, but also of people you’ve just met. Strangers, acquaintances. It doesn’t cost you anything to be nice and you can light up someone else’s day just as those three examples above have mine.

make the world suck less

26 Comments
    1. This is beautiful. I love how open you are and loving openly is the best thing we can do. I think when we stop showing love is when we become less human. It’s not about keeping ourselves safe, but about making a difference for others. Thanks so much for inspiring me today!
      Also, that shirt is perfection.

      1. Dear Jessalyn,
        I’m glad to hear from you again :) Thank you very much for your lovely comment! I love this phrase: “It’s not about keeping ourselves safe, but about making a difference for others.” That’s so true! Unfortunately, I think we live in a society in which it’s not common to show love more openly so we’re rather surprised by someone opening the door for us etc.
        btw, you look gorgeous! :) love your new photo :))

        1. I’m glad to be back online again! I’ve restarted my blog with a new url and I’m still trying to get everything organized.
          Even though society is like that there are people who are choosing to love (like you have!) and that is a perfect place to start.
          I’ve missed reading your blog posts.
          Also, I’ve looked at your photography and it’s beautiful. I like the way you capture the…I’m having trouble finding a word….maybe ambiance?
          Thank you so much! My mom started taking up photography again so I’ve got all these wonderful pictures now. You look amazing too! I adore that photo.

          1. Can you pass me your url? I can’t access your blog via your profile :/
            You’re right, and I think it’s extremely important to encourage people to be kind so they don’t stop being kind when they get a nasty reaction.
            Aw, thank you! <3 Blogging without the lovely comments from people like you wouldn't be fun at all!
            Also thank you for your compliment :)) Do you mean ambiance in the portraits?
            haha you're lucky, I have troubles finding a photographer to take pictures of me :P
            .. thank you again! I think I look a bit arrogant but I like it because it's not my usual me :D

              1. Thank you for the link, I’m following you now :)) can’t wait to see what you’re going to post! :)

    1. If everyone in the world could just read this post, we would all be better off. Very well said!

      1. Thank you so much for your nice comment :) I’m glad you’ve found my blog because I stumbled upon yours before and really liked it, especially the “graduation” post!

    1. We look for the answer to healing this world, we need to look in for the healing starts with us within us for us then from us, keep speaking luv for these are the kind of words we need to hear.

      1. Thank you for your encouraging comment, Sara :) I’ll definitely continue to write these kind of posts :)

    1. Beautiful post Monika! I didn’t really know you back in the days when you haven’t felt so well and you were afraid of falling. But I am very glad that you found happiness in your life. And now that I had the chance to get to know you personally, I am even happier for you :)

      1. Thank you for your kindness, Dennis! Luckily, those days have been over since around two years and they’ve taught me to appreciate happiness even more. I’m glad I could get to know you and hope I’ll be like you when I’m as old as you (maybe with one or two children though ;D)! :))

        1. Thank you very much for the compliment :) I am not thaaaat old though…so it might not take too long until you reach my age :D Just make sure to enjoy your time. One or two children? Quite ambitious ;) who knows…maybe your dream comes true…or maybe your dreams might even change ;)

          1. haha just imagine, by the time I reach your age you’ll have a family and will be totally responsible ;D but now you’re definitely still young! :D
            haha yeah :P but I wouldn’t be surprised if my dreams changed after what you’ve told me.. though I REALLY want them ;)

            1. haha yeah who knows what the future might bring ;) And you know…not all dreams change…and some of them really do come true :)

    1. So then I read ‘Giving and Receiving Love”…. and realized that love sometimes comes in whispers.
      That opening photo for example.
      That was great, and the gif…with the snowflakes.
      And…. writers rule the world because we document and preserve and pass on.
      Later, Kindred.

      1. “love sometimes comes in whispers” – what a beautiful thought! I can only agree and love the image of love sometimes being a whisper. Your comment made me really happy, thank you for your kind words! :) I definitely want to work on my writing. Thank you so much for stopping by!

      1. Oh, I’m so sorry I never saw your comment, Alex!! Thank you very much for your kind feedback. Take care and have a lovely weekend :)

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