Even though sometimes it’s deeply unsettling not to have many constants in life, I do love changes. I’ve had a couple during the last few years, moving around, exposing myself to new situations that were not all equally comfortable.
Observing the ever-changing situation in Lucerne fascinates me. I’ve lived there since a month and love to see how life unfolds, revealing new surprises behind every bend along the road. After the first week, I was dramatically crushed, sure I’d be an outsider in class. Three more weeks have gone by and my view has become more optimistic.
I can’t wait to settle down, get to know more people, hopefully find some inspiring friendships.
At times, I notice little details that make me pause and realise afresh how amazing my situation is. Like when I had beer during our “home party” and the etiquettes of both brands proudly stated Made in Lucerne. I’m really there. The possibility of making it used to be an idea I thought was too good to be true, a distant dream.
Living and studying there per se is not that amazing. But the fact that I’m doing it is. To me, it’s the fruit after all the struggles I went through since my exchange year. I transformed from a grey nobody who tried to fit in to someone who overcame her fears and decided to aim for stars who might be too far away to be reached. But even though I was often convinced of failing, the opposite happened. I succeeded and surpassed my expectations.
I’m falling in love with my new life. The bond is still very delicate, but it feels like it’s growing stronger with every passing day, week, conversation, laughter, time spent with new people.
Something that I’ve newly discovered is meeting strangers, with whom I can actually have interesting conversations, at parties. It might sound really common for many people, but it’s very new to me. I had to explain my origins several times and funny enough, I realised that I’ve finally stopped rejecting the term “Swiss” in connection with me (I used to emphasise ‘I’m not Swiss!’) – because I feel that Lucerne is already a part of me.
What also fascinates me is watching friendships grow. How strangers become familiar when you see them regularly. The intimacy that tenderly develops. Sometimes I wished I could hurry the process, get to the topics that truly interests me and ask people about what they’re passionate about, what inspires them, which bad experience made them stronger etc.. But I know that people are put off by these questions and generally don’t want to open up to strangers. So it’s less awkward and much easier to make rather meaningless smalltalk while the ‘real deal’ has to wait for now. I’m not sure if I like my babbling, but I guess it’s better than not being able to say anything.
Speaking of the photo linked in the previous sentence, my 365 project took a new twist when I started uni – a stricter self-censorship has started to leave its mark. I think I can’t write as openly about my thoughts and feelings as before, knowing that people who are regularly involved in my everyday life can read them as well. But I’m sure I’ll find the happy medium.
Some photos from our pre-party dinner last Friday. We had delicious homemade sushi (mainly made by our Japanese roommate, with the help of the others while I just took photos :P). It was my first social event in Lucerne, so I really want to have these memories on my blog.