Writing

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anywhere in the world (day x)

Jamaica, Saudi Arabia, Zambia. I like to look at my stats and see where my readers – you – come from. Algeria, Iraq, Pakistan. There are so many places I’ve never been to and might never visit. Cook Islands, St. Vincent & Grenadines, Jersey. Islands I couldn’t find if you gave me a globe and asked me to point them out. Singapore, my birth place and one of my many homes. I feel strangely connected to the clicks from that place and wonder if...

nothing (day ix)

nothing, five years ago. You go out with people, spend hours together. You laugh, talk about things that don’t matter, get drunk and dance through the night. But this time together doesn’t mean anything. It’s all facades, hypocrisies and superficiality. A game that goes against my nature. It’s not about connecting, they don’t care about who I am or what I feel. What it takes to be included: look pretty, wear a smile on your lips, and– don’t be quiet....

shoes (day viii)

June. I’m in Germany for a couple of days, visiting my grandparents. My grandpa drives me to the industrial area near his town that used to be my home, too. It’s time for my bi-annual cosmetics shopping. The summer heat inundates us when we leave the air-conditioned drugstore. In my little backpack are 40€ worth of products, paid with the money my grandma gave me to cover a part of my train fare. We’ve barely left the entrance when my...

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very loud (day vii)

angry voices saying things they don’t mean breaking hearts crying toddlers in the bus distress hate inner conflict Manila missing someone who doesn’t miss you New Years’s Eve planes before takeoff the music I listen to after a fight the silence of solitude the voice of self-doubt thunder … feel free to share other loud things that come into your mind x...

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aftermath (day vi)

A goodbye. And an almost. An almost that comes with implications that are too vast to grasp. My mind goes blank. Blood rushes into my head, my body goes cold. I’m glad I hardly blush. On the tip of my tongue– What? What did you think?! But I swallow the words, can imagine the reply, can’t bear to hear the truth, not right now. So I turn around, my legs mechanically leading me down the steps to the subjacent floor. One step...