Thoughts

Category

monika-jia-rui-088

Misfit

No matter how fond I’ve grown of Lucerne and her beautiful mountains, Rhineland-Palatinate and her soft hills, covered with vineyards as far as the eye can see, have a special place in my heart. I do feel a bit nostalgic now, gazing out of the train window while the landscape is swiftly passing by, reminding me of my solitary year in Germany. I’d never have the strength and self-confidence I have today if I hadn’t left Switzerland two years ago, isolating myself while giving...

Second Thoughts

In the last few months, I’ve published a couple of personal posts, never being scared about how much I was revealing about myself. In theory, I knew I was making myself vulnerable, but I never actually felt vulnerable – till now. I’m going to start my studies next month. We’re a small class, containing just fifteen students. So far, my fellow students were anonymous, so I wasn’t too worried about them. But last week I received some emails from my university and...

Be Vulnerable

Too often, I’m not satisfied with my photographs. Superficially they might be ‘beautiful’ – but what do I feel when I look at them? Nothing. They’re like a pretty face that’s pleasant to look at, but exchangeable with any other, blank. I figured that the lack of emotions is due to the fact that I’m still a beginner. My focus isn’t on conveying emotions yet. Instead, I’ve been working on the theme and atmosphere. I’ve also been playing safe, following other photographers and trying out...

Is Photography Superficial?

Once upon a time, two very different people met at a beach party in Singapore. There was a Burmese freelance photographer in his mid-twenties and a young multiracial girl, clueless about photography, who had to sneak into the club because she hasn’t turned 18 yet. Alcohol has loosened my tongue and mind, but it doesn’t bring me closer to the group I am with. So I’ve started a conversation with this Burmese guy from the table next to ours, who – even though I’ve...

monika-jia-rui-selfportrait

People Pleaser

For the longest time in my life, I was a people pleaser. I wanted to get along with everyone, always be nice to everybody, not to have any issues with anyone. The first step out of this role was coloring my hair blue/green last year. Many people felt affronted by it; I got to hear negative comments made by people close to me and got weird stares from strangers. It was okay, eventually I got used to it and learnt to...