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This Is Your Life

When I was younger, I only realised that I was happy when the happiness was gone. That has changed. These days, I feel so happy my heart aches when I think of it. Realising that hurts because I know it won’t last forever, it can’t. And time passes so quickly, I’m so afraid of waking up one day, realising that my youth has gone. I wish I could stop time. I love this phase of my life. My future path is...

Teenage Dreaming

I’m turning twenty tomorrow. I used to think that everything above 16 is pretty old, adult. I’ve come to realise it’s one of those childhood ideas that barely have to do anything with reality. I’m still bloody young when I think of the people I know who are approaching their thirties and still act young anyway. There is no reason to feel old. But anyway, an important phase of my life is over. My teenage years have come to an...

Gap Year, Volume II

Back in Switzerland, beautiful memories behind, an unknown future ahead. A gap year, once again. A bit different from last year when I volunteered in Germany. Less structure, more uncertainty. And I still can’t handle it. I’m trying not to freak out, but I’m having a hard time. As always, my self-doubts are overwhelming. What if I don’t get the jobs. What if I do get them but do badly. What if I fail to teach my students something. What if...

The stranger within me

Sometimes I stare at pictures of myself for a long time. No, not to gloat over my sight.I stare at those pictures because I don’t feel connected to the person I see. Instead, I feel like looking at a girl I don’t know. The two photos in this post are great examples. I’m always smiling and don’t use make up regularly. Seeing myself with make up on and this facial expression is strange (and I’m sure that everyone who knows me agrees...

A Life Lesson I Learned From Changing My Hair Colour

It’s common knowledge that it’s impossible to please everyone. Nonetheless we try to do so day in, day out and are left frustrated when it doesn’t work out. For years I thought that colourful hair was pretty cool but I never had the courage to have it myself. Partly because it involves bleaching my hair, partly because I didn’t want to stand out from the crowd . This year, I was away from my usual environment, rather isolated in Germany, and had...