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Monika jia rui

Spring Foolishness

I’m at my friend Lisi’s place in Frankfurt, getting ready in the bathroom. From the gap under her roommate’s door sounds ‘Auf Uns’ by Andreas Bourani. It sounds familiar to me. He sings out loud, wholeheartedly, celebrating life. Who is freezing this moment for us It can’t be better than this. … Here’s to what lies ahead for us That there will be the best for us Here’s to what unites us To this time ∙•∙ Here’s to us To this life, To this...

A Bittersweet Time In Bangkok

[Click here for part 1; September 2015] The next day our heads are throbbing and my stomach is unwell. I’m sure it’s the street food. Ironically, Kevin’s friend (who threw up next to me the night before) seems to be much better than us and I curse my indisposition. We have to force ourselves to get up because time is so scarce and valuable. Less than 48h to make up for the last two years of distance and the years to...

In

Quietly I finish reading the paranormal romantic novel that has sucked me into its world during the last couple of days. It ends on a good note and leaves me with a tender feeling inside. I open my email program again. The dreaded email could arrive anytime and I want to be in a good mood when I open it so in the worst (and most probable) case, I’d be able to move on quickly. An email. From Lucerne. First, the email is...

dreamy self-portrait

Back On Track

Trying to keep it together and keep going can be quite exhausting. Not letting possible failure bring you down, convincing yourself that everything will be okay while the doubtful and pessimistic voice screams something else.. I know my rational part is right. But how do you convince emotions? After spending the last week encouraging myself, reading and doing some self-therapy by binge-watching all the Vampire Diaries episodes I’ve missed since last year (yes, I actually watch this teenie-drama-series. I firmly disagree with the...

girl in front of cave

Decisive Days

Alone. Radio on to chase away the silence that echoes in the empty house. Anxiety runs through my veins, I’m restless and want to do unhealthy things to calm myself down. Don’t. Tomorrow is the decisive day. I’ve been brushing it off, thought that portrait and fashion photography is what I want to focus on, but only now I realise how much I want to continue with my documentary photography and thus get into the course. Of course, in the worst case, there...