aftermath (day vi)

2017-08-04

monika-jia-rui-339

A goodbye. And an almost. An almost that comes with implications that are too vast to grasp.

My mind goes blank. Blood rushes into my head, my body goes cold. I’m glad I hardly blush.

On the tip of my tongue– What? What did you think?!

But I swallow the words, can imagine the reply, can’t bear to hear the truth, not right now. So I turn around, my legs mechanically leading me down the steps to the subjacent floor. One step at a time. Don’t think, just walk. Dragging along: heavy baggage and an even heavier heart.

what was that what was that what the hell was that is it what i think it is

Confusion. Eyes closed, deep breaths. I’m in the last train to another home. Sit there and stare into nothing. Occupy way too much space. Nobody complains, though – I probably look so miserable and exhausted the other nocturnal passengers take pity on me.

don’t freak out breathe don’t freak out breathe don’t freak out breathe don’t fre– my thoughts go on a rampage. My heart joins.

Disbelief. I fumble for my newly acquired notebook, find it in one of my many bags, scribble into it. Once again writing saves me from losing my mind. I feel calmer with every line I write. One paragraph, one page, two pages.

Dinner to go, eaten on a patch of green. A hot summer evening that slowly fades into a warm night. Plucked blades of grass gradually turning into a delicate tower while the conversation proceeds and the day slips away. Four and a half hours.

Almost.


My dears, thank you so much for your feedback! I’m having more fun with this challenge than I expected and your comments are very encouraging ❤️ The beginning is the hardest but you made it really easy for me – I think I’m about to get into a flow 😊 have a lovely weekend and take care 🌟

6 Comments
    1. Your text is getting to me, the photo gripping – like all of them in the last posts. I am still here. Following, enjoying the quality of your pictures, and your language. Since we had a small exchange on the topic before art school started for you: Did you see I dipped my toe into miniature (or toy) photography again and got carried away? Pictures keep coming inot my head, and sometimes I struggle to get them all out there in time before the motivation is gone… So I think I can feel part of your struggles, albeit the tip of the iceberg. I am looking forward to more pictures and texts comning from you.

      1. Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment, Tobias! I’m glad I was able to transmit my emotions and I’m very happy you’re still here! :)) I think it’s really awesome that you’re putting so much work into your photography. Maybe looking at old work of yours you’re especially proud of helps you keep up your motivation?
        Anyways it was great to hear from you again and I’ll try to comment on you posts a bit more often in the future :) hugs from Uruguay!

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