scruffy-and-happy

bliss

a snapshot by Robin – I love what he captured here: me looking 100% unglamorous, but happy and comfortable Today was amazing. Yesterday’s tears and overwhelming loneliness seem like a surreal nightmare to me now. I spent the whole day – from getting up at 10am till 9pm – with my flatmate Robin and his close friend “C” (he appears at the bottom of yesterday’s post). It’s the first time I voluntarily spent so much time with someone (besides my boyfriend) during a day...

monika-jia-rui-089

bathroom breakdown

At times, I’m overcome by a weird feeling that leaves me anxious. My mind gets restless, I can’t focus on anything but the feeling of having to do something, anything, writing creating photographing whatever. Then I’m in a different sphere and even the presence of friends can hardly bring me back. There’s a wedge, and I’m happy about it, because it protects me from this silly feeling of being rejected. Come on, Monika, don’t be stupid, you knew they’d be busy, it’s not that...

vulnerable-sofia-sunset

an open door (day ii)

Day 2, an open door I doubt we encounter many open doors in life. Sometimes a door we wanted to enter closes right under our nose, forcing us to look for other options. That might lead us to finding open doors at unexpected places. But normally, we have to open the doors ourselves. There’s no butler doing that for us (if we want to get somewhere worthwhile). When I think of open doors and creating opportunities, my crazy decision from last year crosses my mind. Back...