Demons

Life has been going on quietly. Days went by without my usual emotional rollercoaster. No state of joy nor of anxiety, just mediocrity. I was tired and busy – but I believed I was fine. Life is bland and less intense this way – without emotions, there’s no impulse to create or write. But it’s better than feeling down, right? ✕ ✕ ✕ I was wrong. I’ve been walking on ice all along while believing I was on a boring but safe path. The ground...

Saved

This week has been really rough. I helplessly felt darkness consuming me from within; insecurities, sorrow and hopelessness persistently gnawed at me. All I wanted to do was to sleep till this mess was over, avoiding stressful social interactions. Luckily I didn’t chicken out of meeting my old friend Mia. After talking for a while to catch up on our lives, we moved on to taking some random shots, experimenting with material that was lying around. I wanted to keep it...

Gone

What words can describe the feeling that settles in when you realise that once again you’re separated, being the one left behind? A part of me is missing. I walk the streets alone and can’t look into these brown eyes full of love, feel his warmth by my side, my hand in his, our fingers entwined. I know I’ll be fine eventually, both of us always are. But right now I feel like something has been torn away from me. I miss him dearly....

A Precious Smile

We’re sitting in a train headed towards the mountains, playing Exploding Kittens. The compartment is packed. Luckily we’ve been early and caught a little space with a table for the four of us – two friends, my love and me. By the time precipices rise high outside the train window and the snow-covered mountain peaks seem within reach, we’re lost in the game. It’s funny. I remember being on trips many years ago, hearing other people having fun and laughing, envying them. There was no fun where...

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-3°C

We’re in the outskirts of my beloved forest, in an unobstructed spot overlooking Lucerne. An icy wind hits my bare skin. Am I out of my mind? Only a week ago I was sick, drinking liters of tea per day and clutching a heat pack to my tummy. But here I am, taking off my jacket, dress and bra in a swift movement. Biting cold receives me. Liberation. I’m not only shedding my clothes, but also the inhibition and fears that have accompanied me...